Anti-Bullying Resource Library - Respect U.

Questions & Answers for Sports Bullying

Are we bullying our kids? 

We are if we are pushing our own agenda and it hurts kids because we are diminishing who they are, their fun, their ability to meet what we want them to meet.

Are we pushing kids too hard on the sports field? 

Pushing is a matter of degree.  I like to think of it as fair play vs. foul play.  The power issues that kids feel and how they intend to use it are the critical issues here. For example, playing fair doesn’t mean making another kid with less power, talent or ability feel terrible about themselves.  That is foul play.  Fair play is beating another kid, but not rubbing their nose in the ground to feel the pain of their loss. 

Is trash talking bullying?

Trash talk is okay when it is done in a spirit of competition between equals.  Competition is between equals.  Bullying is when that trash talk is meant to target a victim with the intention of hurting that victim beyond the competition because your power allows you to hurt another kid.  Kids have to be taught to think if the trash talk will make another kid feel bad.  Then it is foul play.  Have them learn to trust their gut!  They know when they make someone feel bad.  That is when the line must get drawn

How do kids react to bullying? 

They look around and judge what to do by what others are doing.  If a parent, or coach or adult is there and nothing is done, then the whole team doesn’t act, further isolating a victim.

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