{"id":3974,"date":"2020-03-12T18:45:15","date_gmt":"2020-03-12T18:45:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/?p=3974"},"modified":"2022-09-02T16:37:39","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:37:39","slug":"your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Children Aren&#8217;t Perfect, and It&#8217;s Okay for Them to Know It"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"s-share-buttons\" class=\"horizontal-w-c-circular s-share-w-c\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Facebook\" class=\"s3-facebook hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=Your Children Aren&#8217;t Perfect, and It&#8217;s Okay for Them to Know It&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Twitter\" class=\"s3-twitter hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/share?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Google Plus\" class=\"s3-google-plus hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.digg.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Digg\" class=\"s3-digg hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/reddit.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/&title=Your Children Aren&#8217;t Perfect, and It&#8217;s Okay for Them to Know It\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Reddit\" class=\"s3-reddit hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to LinkedIn\" class=\"s3-linkedin hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stumbleupon.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/&title=Your Children Aren&#8217;t Perfect, and It&#8217;s Okay for Them to Know It\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to StumbleUpon\" class=\"s3-stumbleupon hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.respectu.com%2Fhome%2Fyour-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it%2F&name=Your+Children+Aren%26%238217%3Bt+Perfect%2C+and+It%26%238217%3Bs+Okay+for+Them+to+Know+It\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Tumblr\" class=\"s3-tumblr hint--top\"><\/a><div class=\"pinit-btn-div\"><a href=\"\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/\" data-pin-do=\"buttonBookmark\"  data-pin-color=\"red\" title=\"Share to Pinterest\" class=\"s3-pinterest hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" async defer src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\"><\/script><a href=\"mailto:?Subject=Your%20Children%20Aren&#8217;t%20Perfect,%20and%20It&#8217;s%20Okay%20for%20Them%20to%20Know%20It&Body=Here%20is%20the%20link%20to%20the%20article:%20https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/\" title=\"Email this article\" class=\"s3-email hint--top\"><\/a><\/div><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-3912\" src=\"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Bullying-Help.jpg\" width=\"848\" height=\"565\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal;\">Copyright: <a href=\"https:\/\/https:\/\/www.123rf.com\/profile_fizkes\">fizkes\/123RF Stock Photo<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">A parent&#8217;s natural instinct is to deny, deny, deny anything the <\/span><span class=\"s2\">tormentors say, and teach their kids that they&#8217;re gorgeous, brilliant, <\/span><span class=\"s3\">talented, perfect little people. And when the children are very young, they buy into it\u2014they agree that they&#8217;re perfect. Soon, <\/span><span class=\"s4\">though, the other kids knock them off their perfect pegs and begin <\/span><span class=\"s3\">pointing out all their flaws. Sometimes the kids are just being <\/span><span class=\"s1\">obnoxious and making up things because your child is giving them <\/span><span class=\"s5\">the emotional reaction they want, and sometimes there&#8217;s some <\/span><span class=\"s6\">truth to what they say.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s4\">Maybe your kid is teased for being a nerd or having a big nose. <\/span><span class=\"s3\">And you know what? Maybe your kid <\/span><span class=\"s7\"><i>is <\/i><\/span><span class=\"s3\">a little nerdy and does have a big nose. Rather than pretending that the opposite is true <\/span><span class=\"s1\">and acting horrified that these cruel children are spreading such <\/span><span class=\"s2\">terrible lies, use this as an opportunity to say, &#8220;So what?&#8221; Tell them <\/span><span class=\"s1\">about famous people who were once called geeks and nerds when <\/span><span class=\"s4\">they were young\u2014people like Jennifer Garner and Sarah Michelle <\/span><span class=\"s1\">Gellar. Point out the child&#8217;s more attractive features.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s3\">A child who is taught to believe that she&#8217;s perfect is going to <\/span><span class=\"s1\">have a harder time accepting it when that bubble gets burst than a <\/span><span class=\"s3\">child who has a more realistic self-image. Make sure your kids understand that everyone has little things about themselves that <\/span><span class=\"s5\">they wish were different, or that they don&#8217;t like very much, but <\/span><span class=\"s6\">that usually, they realize that those things aren&#8217;t very important. <\/span><span class=\"s3\">Sometimes they even learn to like the things that make them feel\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s2\">different and weird when they&#8217;re young. This is what resilience is all about.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s3\">Denying a quality that your child actually <\/span><span class=\"s4\"><i>does <\/i><\/span><span class=\"s3\">have makes that <\/span><span class=\"s5\">quality seem really bad. &#8220;Oh, my goodness! You&#8217;re not a nerd! <\/span><span class=\"s6\">Those kids are crazy!&#8221; Now the kid knows that you think nerds are <\/span><span class=\"s3\">bad, and that it&#8217;s an insult to be called that. But is it really so bad to <\/span><span class=\"s6\">have a little &#8220;nerd pride&#8221;? It may be best to teach your child how to <\/span><span class=\"s3\">be a little self-deprecating and make fun of himself, which takes the <\/span><span class=\"s2\">sting out of those words when other people say them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\"><span class=\"s7\"><b><i>Do You Tease at Home?<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Wait, before you look guilty: That&#8217;s a good thing! Playful teas<\/span><span class=\"s8\">ing is a healthy, positive thing. It teaches your kids not to take <\/span><span class=\"s6\">themselves too seriously, and not to get terribly offended by every little comment. I can remember at our own dinner table, letting my kids make fun of my imperfections in a relaxed, fun way. It really <\/span><span class=\"s2\">creates ease. It provides an opportunity for us to laugh with each other, which is very different than laughing at each other. Feeling <\/span><span class=\"s3\">safe and acknowledging imperfections allows us to develop a more <\/span><span class=\"s6\">realistic self-image.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">You may be able to gauge how your child reacts to peer teasing <\/span><span class=\"s3\">by watching how he reacts when you tease. If he whines or yells or <\/span><span class=\"s6\">cries, you know you&#8217;ll need to work on his oversensitivity. Talk to him about the difference between hurtful teasing and just playing <\/span><span class=\"s2\">around. Tell him that teasing can be a sign of affection and that <\/span><span class=\"s6\">people who really like each other can joke with each other without <\/span><span class=\"s2\">trying to be hurtful. Then use an example, and make fun of yourself. Show your child that you are okay being imperfect.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s6\">But be aware of how others in the family react, too\u2014does Mom <\/span><span class=\"s5\">pout every time Dad makes a joke about her bad cooking? Does <\/span><span class=\"s9\">big sister get upset when Mom makes a dig about how long she\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">spends fixing her hair? If you&#8217;re trying to teach a child not to react <\/span><span class=\"s2\">so strongly to teasing, make sure the other family members are <\/span><span class=\"s1\">role-modeling the right behavior. It&#8217;s a positive atmosphere when <\/span><span class=\"s3\">family members can tease each other back and forth without any real hurt or resentment.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Copyright: fizkes\/123RF Stock Photo A parent&#8217;s natural instinct is to deny, deny, deny anything the tormentors say, and teach their kids that they&#8217;re gorgeous, brilliant, talented, perfect little people. And when the children are very young, they buy into it\u2014they agree that they&#8217;re perfect. Soon, though, the other kids knock them off their perfect pegs [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3976,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92,89],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Your Children Aren&#039;t Perfect, and It&#039;s Okay for Them to Know It - Bullying Speaker, Counselor &amp; Expert<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/your-children-arent-perfect-and-its-okay-for-them-to-know-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Your Children Aren&#039;t Perfect, and It&#039;s Okay for Them to Know It - Bullying Speaker, Counselor &amp; Expert\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Copyright: fizkes\/123RF Stock Photo A parent&#8217;s natural instinct is to deny, deny, deny anything the tormentors say, and teach their kids that they&#8217;re gorgeous, brilliant, talented, perfect little people. 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