{"id":3919,"date":"2019-11-06T16:29:07","date_gmt":"2019-11-06T16:29:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/?p=3919"},"modified":"2022-09-02T16:37:40","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:37:40","slug":"how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make Your Child Feel Powerless"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"s-share-buttons\" class=\"horizontal-w-c-circular s-share-w-c\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Facebook\" class=\"s3-facebook hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=How to Make Your Child Feel Powerless&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Twitter\" class=\"s3-twitter hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/share?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Google Plus\" class=\"s3-google-plus hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.digg.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Digg\" class=\"s3-digg hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/reddit.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/&title=How to Make Your Child Feel Powerless\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Reddit\" class=\"s3-reddit hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to LinkedIn\" class=\"s3-linkedin hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stumbleupon.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/&title=How to Make Your Child Feel Powerless\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to StumbleUpon\" class=\"s3-stumbleupon hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.respectu.com%2Fhome%2Fhow-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless%2F&name=How+to+Make+Your+Child+Feel+Powerless\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Tumblr\" class=\"s3-tumblr hint--top\"><\/a><div class=\"pinit-btn-div\"><a href=\"\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/\" data-pin-do=\"buttonBookmark\"  data-pin-color=\"red\" title=\"Share to Pinterest\" class=\"s3-pinterest hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" async defer src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\"><\/script><a href=\"mailto:?Subject=How%20to%20Make%20Your%20Child%20Feel%20Powerless&Body=Here%20is%20the%20link%20to%20the%20article:%20https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-to-make-your-child-feel-powerless\/\" title=\"Email this article\" class=\"s3-email hint--top\"><\/a><\/div><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-3923 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/102012687_s.jpg\" alt=\"Father insulting his son\" width=\"848\" height=\"565\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/102012687_s.jpg 848w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/102012687_s-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/102012687_s-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 848px) 100vw, 848px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal;\">Copyright: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.123rf.com\/profile_ryujikawano\">iakovenko\/123RF Stock Photo<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<h1>This post may seem a little harsh, but we all must keep in mind the words that come out of our mouths.<\/h1>\n<p>There are plenty of &#8220;threats&#8221; parents use without even thinking about it, because they obviously don&#8217;t mean what they&#8217;ve said. When most parents say, &#8220;I&#8217;m gonna kill you!&#8221; of course they don&#8217;t actually mean they&#8217;re going to murder their children. But the children see and hear the anger and the threat anyway, and have learned that threatening others means you&#8217;re powerful and the other person had better do what you say.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">If you really want to make your child feel small and powerless, use phrases like the following:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"p2\">Don&#8217;t cry or I&#8217;ll give you something to cry about.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p3\">My way or the highway.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p4\">Do that one more time, and I&#8217;ll humiliate you in front of your friends.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p5\">I don&#8217;t care what you want; I&#8217;m the parent.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p6\">If you do that again, I&#8217;ll kill you.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p7\">I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p6\">Do what I tell you or else!<\/li>\n<li class=\"p6\">Keep it up, and I&#8217;ll send you away.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p8\">If you don&#8217;t listen, you&#8217;ll be grounded forever.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p6\">Just wait until your father (mother) comes home.<\/li>\n<li class=\"p6\">You don&#8217;t deserve to be part of this family.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p10\">Whether children become bullies or targets largely depends on which parent they identify with. Either they&#8217;ll see the power and decide they want it\u2014so they adopt bullying behavior with their peers\u2014or they sympathize with the other parent and copy the &#8220;weak&#8221; mannerisms, thus making themselves likelier targets.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p2\">Name-Calling<\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\">In my practice, I&#8217;ve been amazed by the array of insults loving parents will hurl at their kids when the parents get mad. I&#8217;ve heard parents call their kids &#8220;stupid,&#8221; &#8220;idiot,&#8221; &#8220;jerk,&#8221; &#8220;baby,&#8221; and plenty of other invectives. Do the parents actually mean it? No\u2014they&#8217;re angry about something, and that&#8217;s how they let their kids know they&#8217;re angry. It&#8217;s a lousy way to do it, though, because there&#8217;s already an uneven power balance in the inherent nature of the parent-<span class=\"s1\">child relationship. Name-calling makes a child see you as a bully. Try <\/span>to become aware of the words you&#8217;re using when you&#8217;re angry.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\">Then there&#8217;s the way to really ensure your child won&#8217;t open up to you anymore: Use the bullying events against him. That is, when the child is getting on your nerves, say something like, &#8220;No wonder you&#8217;re getting bullied! Look how annoying you&#8217;re being!&#8221; or &#8220;If you&#8217;re this much of a crybaby at school, I can see why you&#8217;re getting picked on.&#8221; There&#8217;s a compassionate way to discuss the things the child is doing that may encourage bullies, and there&#8217;s a finger-pointing, blaming way that just makes the child feel more out of control. If you want your child to trust you, you can&#8217;t use the admissions he makes to you against him later.<\/p>\n<p>Turn the table and think how you would feel if\/when your parent, boss, co-worker or friend spoke to you in this manner. Words do matter.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This post may seem a little harsh, but we all must keep in mind the words that come out of our mouths.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92,89],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Make Your Child Feel Powerless - Bullying Speaker, Counselor &amp; Expert<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are plenty of &quot;threats&quot; parents use without even thinking about it, because they obviously don&#039;t mean what they&#039;ve said. 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