{"id":3661,"date":"2019-05-10T13:10:30","date_gmt":"2019-05-10T13:10:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/?p=3661"},"modified":"2022-09-02T16:38:06","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:38:06","slug":"4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Reasons Your Child May Not Talk To You"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"s-share-buttons\" class=\"horizontal-w-c-circular s-share-w-c\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Facebook\" class=\"s3-facebook hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=4 Reasons Your Child May Not Talk To You&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Twitter\" class=\"s3-twitter hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/share?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Google Plus\" class=\"s3-google-plus hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.digg.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Digg\" class=\"s3-digg hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/reddit.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/&title=4 Reasons Your Child May Not Talk To You\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Reddit\" class=\"s3-reddit hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to LinkedIn\" class=\"s3-linkedin hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stumbleupon.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/&title=4 Reasons Your Child May Not Talk To You\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to StumbleUpon\" class=\"s3-stumbleupon hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.respectu.com%2Fhome%2F4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you%2F&name=4+Reasons+Your+Child+May+Not+Talk+To+You\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Tumblr\" class=\"s3-tumblr hint--top\"><\/a><div class=\"pinit-btn-div\"><a href=\"\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/\" data-pin-do=\"buttonBookmark\"  data-pin-color=\"red\" title=\"Share to Pinterest\" class=\"s3-pinterest hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" async defer src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\"><\/script><a href=\"mailto:?Subject=4%20Reasons%20Your%20Child%20May%20Not%20Talk%20To%20You&Body=Here%20is%20the%20link%20to%20the%20article:%20https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/4-reasons-your-child-may-not-talk-to-you\/\" title=\"Email this article\" class=\"s3-email hint--top\"><\/a><\/div><p style=\"text-align: right;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3662 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/114277103_s.jpg\" alt=\"Why your child may not talk to you\" width=\"848\" height=\"565\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/114277103_s.jpg 848w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/114277103_s-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/114277103_s-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 848px) 100vw, 848px\" \/><span style=\"font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal;\">Copyright: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.123rf.com\/profile_fizkes\">Aleksandr Davydov\/ 123RF Stock Photo<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<h1>Here are 4 reasons why your child may not openly talk to you about their problems.<\/h1>\n<p>If your child used to talk to you, but now shuts down when talking about emotional things, this could very well just be a product of &#8220;growing pains&#8221; (young children talk openly to their parents\u00a0much more than preadolescents and adolescents do), or the child may be humiliated about something, or it may be that you&#8217;ve reacted badly in the past or given off the wrong signals without meaning to.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p2\">Try to remember how you&#8217;ve handled these problems before. Now try to see your reactions from a child&#8217;s point of view:<\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><strong>Anger.<\/strong> In all likelihood, you&#8217;re angry with the bully, the school, the camp, the bus driver, the kids who said nothing . . . you&#8217;re probably angry with everyone <i>but <\/i>your kid. The problem is that young kids don&#8217;t differentiate well. They see anger and they think, &#8220;I made her angry.&#8221; They don&#8217;t want you to be angry.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><b>Blame. <\/b>The moment you start asking things like, &#8220;What did you do to provoke it?&#8221; or &#8220;Did you do something to make him mad?&#8221; you&#8217;ve already &#8220;sided&#8221; with the bully, in your child&#8217;s mind. You&#8217;ve raised doubts about your trust in your child and put him on the defensive. There are ways to ask about the child&#8217;s behavior without bringing up any sort of blame assignment.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><b>Broken confidentiality. <\/b>It&#8217;s hard to recover from this if you&#8217;ve ignored your child&#8217;s wishes before and gone to a teacher, principal, bully&#8217;s parents, etc., with the child&#8217;s private concerns. The child is unlikely to share private information with you again, knowing that you could make the situation worse.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\"><b>Too much concern. <\/b>Some parents can be so worried about a bullying situation that they make a child feel even worse about it. Even after the crisis has passed, a parent can keep harping on it, and making the child feel like there&#8217;s something to continue worrying about. Too much babying can make the child feel even more powerless than she already felt.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">If you now realize that you&#8217;ve reacted like this in the past, it&#8217;s time to make amends. Children appreciate it when parents admit they&#8217;ve been wrong. It&#8217;s a good idea to go to your child and say, &#8220;You know, I let my emotions get the best of me. I was so upset because I don&#8217;t ever want you to be hurt, and I think I overreacted. I didn&#8217;t mean to sound so angry. I&#8217;ll do a better job next time you want to talk to me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">Be aware not only of your words, but also your tone and your body language. Here are the cues to watch out for in yourself:<\/p>\n<h3>Positive<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Arms and legs uncrossed<\/li>\n<li>Sitting or lying down at<br \/>\nthe child&#8217;s level<\/li>\n<li>Making eye contact<\/li>\n<li>Nodding<\/li>\n<li>Calm expression<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes putting a hand on the child&#8217;s shoulder<br \/>\nor arm affectionately<\/li>\n<li>Leaning forward<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Negative<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Arms crossed<\/li>\n<li>Standing over child<\/li>\n<li>Looking away frequently<\/li>\n<li>Shaking head<\/li>\n<li>Furrowing eyebrows<\/li>\n<li>Tapping foot<\/li>\n<li>Pointing at child<\/li>\n<li>Rolling eyes<\/li>\n<li>Hands over mouth<\/li>\n<li>Pacing<\/li>\n<li>Crying<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You won&#8217;t realize you&#8217;re doing these things unless you catch yourself in the moment\u2014so next time you&#8217;re listening to your child talk about something upsetting, mentally stop for a moment and\u00a0is most fraught with high emotion, fear, and hopelessness because there are no solutions in sight. It usually feels like nothing will work.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">This crisis period, which usually lasts between one and fourteen days, is considered to have passed once the child feels able to reenter the routine of the pre-crisis life. The intensity and duration of the crisis period are determined by the amount of distress your child feels, which in some ways is a function of how you as a parent react. The crisis lasts until a plan can be found and acted upon.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">There is no one-size-fits-all plan to stop bullying. It&#8217;s more of a flowchart, where you first consider the simplest, most direct solutions\u2014and if they don&#8217;t work or aren&#8217;t acceptable to the child, you move on to the more complex solutions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If your child used to talk to you, but now shuts down when talking about emotional things, this could very well just be a product of &#8220;growing pains&#8221; (young children talk openly to their parents\u00a0much more than preadolescents and adolescents do), or the child may be humiliated about something, or it may be that you&#8217;ve reacted badly in the past or given off the wrong signals without meaning to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3662,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92,89],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>4 Reasons Your Child May Not Talk To You - Bullying Speaker, Counselor &amp; 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