{"id":3471,"date":"2018-10-01T12:50:02","date_gmt":"2018-10-01T12:50:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/?p=3471"},"modified":"2022-09-02T16:38:08","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:38:08","slug":"bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/","title":{"rendered":"Bullying. It&#8217;s Not a Tragedy, But an Opportunity"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"s-share-buttons\" class=\"horizontal-w-c-circular s-share-w-c\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Facebook\" class=\"s3-facebook hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=Bullying. It&#8217;s Not a Tragedy, But an Opportunity&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Twitter\" class=\"s3-twitter hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/share?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Google Plus\" class=\"s3-google-plus hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.digg.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Digg\" class=\"s3-digg hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/reddit.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/&title=Bullying. It&#8217;s Not a Tragedy, But an Opportunity\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Reddit\" class=\"s3-reddit hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to LinkedIn\" class=\"s3-linkedin hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stumbleupon.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/&title=Bullying. It&#8217;s Not a Tragedy, But an Opportunity\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to StumbleUpon\" class=\"s3-stumbleupon hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.respectu.com%2Fhome%2Fbullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity%2F&name=Bullying.+It%26%238217%3Bs+Not+a+Tragedy%2C+But+an+Opportunity\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Tumblr\" class=\"s3-tumblr hint--top\"><\/a><div class=\"pinit-btn-div\"><a href=\"\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/\" data-pin-do=\"buttonBookmark\"  data-pin-color=\"red\" title=\"Share to Pinterest\" class=\"s3-pinterest hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" async defer src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\"><\/script><a href=\"mailto:?Subject=Bullying.%20It&#8217;s%20Not%20a%20Tragedy,%20But%20an%20Opportunity&Body=Here%20is%20the%20link%20to%20the%20article:%20https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/bullying-its-not-a-tragedy-but-an-opportunity\/\" title=\"Email this article\" class=\"s3-email hint--top\"><\/a><\/div><div id=\"attachment_3472\" style=\"width: 857px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3472\" class=\"wp-image-3472 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/27326606_s.jpg\" alt=\"Opportunity to come out of bullying stronger\" width=\"847\" height=\"565\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/27326606_s.jpg 847w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/27326606_s-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/27326606_s-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 847px) 100vw, 847px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-3472\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal;\">Copyright: <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.123rf.com\/profile_bobaa22\"><span style=\"font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal;\">Kittitee Pangwang \/ 123RF Stock Photo<\/span><\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\">One key point I&#8217;d like to impress upon parents is that\u2014strange as it may sound now\u2014there can be something really positive about bullying.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">Think about the times when you&#8217;ve felt really good about yourself. Go ahead: Think of a few examples of times when you felt proud of yourself.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">Got it?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\">Most of the experiences that really build our confidence and self-worth aren&#8217;t just about winning. They&#8217;re about being on the bottom and finding our way up. Does that fit your examples? Maybe you were proud of a time you overcame an addiction, or passed a difficult test, or stood up for yourself to a boss who terrified you or survived a life-threatening situation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">That&#8217;s the whole secret to developing real self-esteem. It&#8217;s not about heaping praise on someone; it&#8217;s about those times when they were really down and figured out how to pull themselves out of it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">When they faced tremendous challenges and learned they were strong enough, smart enough, brave enough, good enough to overcome the odds.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">So the first attitude adjustment I&#8217;d like you as a parent or caretaker to make is that finding out your child is being bullied or is a bully isn&#8217;t a reason to get hysterical. That&#8217;s the tendency\u2014no parents want to see their children suffer, of course, and they can get pretty fired up when they find out their children are being targeted. I&#8217;ve talked to hundreds of parents whose first reaction is to cry, scream, yank the kid out of school, threaten to sue the school . . .<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">The truth is that your child is going to take cues from you. If you&#8217;re all worked up, the child will get all worked up (and that&#8217;s the last thing you want because it&#8217;ll just fuel the bully). If you rush in to shield the child and save the day, the child learns to be helpless. No lesson learned. No opportunity for growth.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Except in really extreme cases, the goal should always be for the <\/span>child to have control of the solution. Of course, parents and other adults can and should help, but not take over and leave the child out of the plan. It&#8217;s important for the child to feel that he or she did something positive to get out of the situation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p5\">That&#8217;s the only reason I can continue doing the work I do. If all I saw was misery and victimization, I could never be a bully coach and still be a functioning and happy person. But instead, what I see is an opportunity. I know that if I can help children learn <span class=\"s1\">the skills they need to stop being bullied, they&#8217;re going to gain self-<\/span>confidence that will be with them for the rest of their lives. They&#8217;re going to feel like they&#8217;ve gone from being losers to being winners, and that feeling is the real power that can propel them to great heights.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\">Yes, bullying is something to take seriously, and no, I don&#8217;t expect you to shout &#8220;Hooray!&#8221; when you find out your child is being victimized. But I ask you to look at it as a challenge with great potential rewards. Teaching a child resilience is like giving that child keys to a magic kingdom. The world becomes brighter, the impossible feels possible, and future challenges don&#8217;t feel so hopeless.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p2\">Next, we&#8217;ll examine this opportunity and use it for all it&#8217;s worth. Know that even if the situation looks grim right now, there&#8217;s a real possibility that your child will grow from this and become stronger and happier than ever before. The greatest victories are the ones we struggle to achieve.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One key point I&#8217;d like to impress upon parents is that\u2014strange as it may sound now\u2014there can be something really positive about bullying. Think about the times when you&#8217;ve felt really good about yourself. Go ahead: Think of a few examples of times when you felt proud of yourself. Got it? Most of the experiences [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3472,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92,89],"tags":[66,48,73],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bullying. 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