{"id":3313,"date":"2017-08-16T13:00:54","date_gmt":"2017-08-16T13:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/?p=3313"},"modified":"2022-09-02T16:38:25","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:38:25","slug":"how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/","title":{"rendered":"How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"s-share-buttons\" class=\"horizontal-w-c-circular s-share-w-c\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Facebook\" class=\"s3-facebook hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying?&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Twitter\" class=\"s3-twitter hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/share?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Google Plus\" class=\"s3-google-plus hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.digg.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Digg\" class=\"s3-digg hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/reddit.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/&title=How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying?\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Reddit\" class=\"s3-reddit hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to LinkedIn\" class=\"s3-linkedin hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stumbleupon.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/&title=How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying?\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to StumbleUpon\" class=\"s3-stumbleupon hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.respectu.com%2Fhome%2Fhow-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying%2F&name=How+Can+A+Bystander+Stop+Bullying%3F\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Tumblr\" class=\"s3-tumblr hint--top\"><\/a><div class=\"pinit-btn-div\"><a href=\"\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/\" data-pin-do=\"buttonBookmark\"  data-pin-color=\"red\" title=\"Share to Pinterest\" class=\"s3-pinterest hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" async defer src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\"><\/script><a href=\"mailto:?Subject=How%20Can%20A%20Bystander%20Stop%20Bullying?&Body=Here%20is%20the%20link%20to%20the%20article:%20https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/how-can-a-bystander-stop-bullying\/\" title=\"Email this article\" class=\"s3-email hint--top\"><\/a><\/div><div id=\"attachment_3464\" style=\"width: 879px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3464\" class=\"wp-image-3464 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/How-Can-A-Bystander-Stop-Bullying.jpg\" alt=\"How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying?\" width=\"869\" height=\"551\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/How-Can-A-Bystander-Stop-Bullying.jpg 869w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/How-Can-A-Bystander-Stop-Bullying-300x190.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/How-Can-A-Bystander-Stop-Bullying-768x487.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 869px) 100vw, 869px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-3464\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal;\">Copyright: <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.123rf.com\/profile_dolgachov\"><span style=\"font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal;\">dolgachov \/ 123RF Stock Photo<\/span><\/a><\/p><\/div>\n<p>Parents have a great opportunity to teach their kids what we call good bystanders, upstanders or allies, which supporting a kid whose targeted. How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying?<\/p>\n<p>I like the word allies because it means that kids who are targeted need someone to help them. But a culture in a school is the first thing to happen to help a kid feel safe, to do the right thing. If a child feels like they are going to be picked on themselves, if they stand up and say something, they are not going to do it. So a culture that rewards upstander behavior or ally behavior, is doing the right thing.<\/p>\n<p>Now, here are the tools. If your child is being bullied, what does the child need? They need support. I divide upstander support in two ways. Most kids won&#8217;t do the high-risk behavior, which is getting up in front of a bully and telling them to stop, because it&#8217;s too scary, it&#8217;s too risky.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t think they should do that unless they are totally comfortable with themselves. Only a small percentage of kids will do that. What they can do is low-risk behaviors, which support a child. They can stand next to the child if they are comfortable. Later on, they can go up to the child and say,<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m really sorry that happened. I didn&#8217;t know what to do. I was afraid, but let&#8217;s go tell a teacher together. Why don&#8217;t you walk with me to class tomorrow? Spend time with me at lunch.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>They show support so the child who is targeted doesn&#8217;t feel alone. You encourage children to do what&#8217;s right and support someone, you build their empathy.<\/p>\n<p>They are better citizens.<\/p>\n<p>They feel better about themselves.<\/p>\n<p>We have to have a culture that encourages that. As a parent, you need to tell them to do something, because if they just watch and do nothing, they actually support the bullying child.<\/p>\n<p>Here is a great resource to find an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.consumersadvocate.org\/online-therapy\">online therapist<\/a> if you feel your child is in need.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Dr. Haber is available for speaking engagements and consultations to help your combat your school or workplace bullying issues.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a class=\"button\" href=\"mailto:joel@respectu.com\/\"><strong>Contact Dr. Haber<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Dr. Joel Haber<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parents have a great opportunity to teach their kids what we call good bystanders, upstanders or allies, which supporting a kid whose targeted. How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying? I like the word allies because it means that kids who are targeted need someone to help them. But a culture in a school is the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92,89],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying? - Bullying Speaker, Counselor &amp; Expert - (914) 428-0004<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How Can A Bystander Stop Bullying? 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