{"id":3294,"date":"2017-03-28T17:08:24","date_gmt":"2017-03-28T17:08:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/?p=3294"},"modified":"2022-09-02T16:38:25","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T16:38:25","slug":"gossip-is-bullying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/","title":{"rendered":"Gossip is Bullying"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"s-share-buttons\" class=\"horizontal-w-c-circular s-share-w-c\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Facebook\" class=\"s3-facebook hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=Gossip is Bullying&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Twitter\" class=\"s3-twitter hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/plus.google.com\/share?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Google Plus\" class=\"s3-google-plus hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.digg.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\"  title=\"Share to Digg\" class=\"s3-digg hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/reddit.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/&title=Gossip is Bullying\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Reddit\" class=\"s3-reddit hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to LinkedIn\" class=\"s3-linkedin hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stumbleupon.com\/submit?url=https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/&title=Gossip is Bullying\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to StumbleUpon\" class=\"s3-stumbleupon hint--top\"><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tumblr.com\/share\/link?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.respectu.com%2Fhome%2Fgossip-is-bullying%2F&name=Gossip+is+Bullying\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Share to Tumblr\" class=\"s3-tumblr hint--top\"><\/a><div class=\"pinit-btn-div\"><a href=\"\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/\" data-pin-do=\"buttonBookmark\"  data-pin-color=\"red\" title=\"Share to Pinterest\" class=\"s3-pinterest hint--top\"><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<script type=\"text\/javascript\" async defer src=\"\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\"><\/script><a href=\"mailto:?Subject=Gossip%20is%20Bullying&Body=Here%20is%20the%20link%20to%20the%20article:%20https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/\" title=\"Email this article\" class=\"s3-email hint--top\"><\/a><\/div><h1 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So I learned about gossip bullying first hand recently while I was preparing for a talk on bullying about relational bullying, about girl bullying, mean girl stuff. <\/span><\/h1>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3295 alignright\" src=\"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Gossip-Bullying.jpg\" alt=\"Gossip Bullying\" width=\"450\" height=\"338\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Gossip-Bullying.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Gossip-Bullying-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/>I was sitting in a coffee shop, I was working with a colleague and my colleague left and a woman was sitting next to me who must have heard what I was talking about and she said \u201cI heard you talking about gossiping and relational bullying. My daughter who is young \u2013 a teenager \u2013 is having this major problem. So she said she\u2019s getting in trouble because of gossiping, her friends are leaving her out. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So I went through, I spent like 30 minutes with her talking about bullying and why gossiping occurs and what it\u2019s all about and then her friends came in and she said to me \u201cthank you very much.\u201d I said \u201cIt was great, I hope you got a lot out of it.\u201d She did, she went over to her friends \u2013 and I felt pretty good about myself \u2013 but when she went over to her friends all of a sudden she started gossiping about a neighbor of hers and getting really mean and nasty and I thought to myself \u201cWoah. I just spent 30 minutes sharing all this research and all this stuff about what bullying is about, she didn\u2019t get an ounce of it because the apple doesn\u2019t fall far from the tree.\u201d She was teaching her daughter \u2013 by her own behavior \u2013 how to gossip. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So that\u2019s where it was coming from so I \u2013 as a bystander, as an expert I\u2019m thinking what do I do? And I thought \u201cI can\u2019t let it go because if I let it go then I\u2019m doing nothing and I don\u2019t train that. I have to be an up stander and do something.\u201d She asked me to help her, so I thought I could do this in 2 ways. I could go up to her and humiliate her in front of her friends, which would be awful or I can tap her quietly and have her come over and share it. And that\u2019s what I decided to do, so I tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around and said \u201cYeah?\u201d I said \u201cCan I just talk to you for one more minute?\u201d And at first she was a little bit uncomfortable but she came over to me and I said \u201cI hope you enjoyed our talk and you learned a lot.\u201d She said \u201cI did.\u201d Well there was one thing I just noticed if you don\u2019t mind me sharing. She said \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d I said \u201cI don\u2019t know if you realize, but when we talked about the gossiping problem you daughter had, maybe she mad some of that influence from you because when your friends came in you started gossiping about a neighbor. And all of a sudden she got really red in the face and she said \u201cOkay, thank you!\u201d And she ran back to her friends and started gossiping about me but here\u2019s the point. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">What do we do in those situations? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Do we stand back and do nothing? Or in that situation it was totally appropriate to let her know because she had asked me for advice. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">What she did with that I\u2019ll never know, but the point is it\u2019s so easy to be role modeling things and never even see what we do. And that\u2019s where kids learn the most, from what we do and not from what we say.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Dr. Haber is available for speaking engagements and consultations to help your combat your school or workplace bullying issues.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a class=\"button\" href=\"http:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/index.php\/contact\/\"><strong>Contact Dr. Haber<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Dr. Joel Haber<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So I learned about gossip bullying first hand recently while I was preparing for a talk on bullying about relational bullying, about girl bullying, mean girl stuff. I was sitting in a coffee shop, I was working with a colleague and my colleague left and a woman was sitting next to me who must have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3295,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[92,89],"tags":[66,82],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Gossip is Bullying - Bullying Speaker, Counselor &amp; Expert<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.respectu.com\/home\/gossip-is-bullying\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Gossip is Bullying - Bullying Speaker, Counselor &amp; Expert\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So I learned about gossip bullying first hand recently while I was preparing for a talk on bullying about relational bullying, about girl bullying, mean girl stuff. 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